I've decided to start playing softball, which is humourous as Im not the most co-ordinated, nor the most sporty person, but its a way for me to get some fresh air, see my friends and maybe get a little exercise every week. I've been looking forward to it for weeks, however last night, due to calgary's amazing weather, the very first night of softball was cancelled.
I was very bummed, and didnt really want to make dinner, so I thought it might be nice to go hang out with the in-laws-to-be. We decided to go out for dinner, and we end up going to a nicer place, which I was okay with. We surprisingly got over there really fast...
Just a little side note here, its funny how different it is to leave the house when you are a parent. Especially when you are a parent of a new baby. The list of things that you need to bring just to go out to dinner is so insane, you never think of those things when you are single. If I wanted to go out to dinner as a single man, a buddy could give me about 5 minutes notice and I could leave the house. Now, you have to change my son, re-pack the baby bag, ensure you have everything in the baby bag you will ever need, Get him dressed appropriately for the weather, strap him in his car seat, and then you have to get ready, and of course, my fiancee needs to get ready, so its really normally a HUGE ordeal, just to leave the house. I thought I would just mention this, as I am constantly floored about how its at least an hour, if not more, for us to leave the house no matter what we do. However, this time we actually got out of the house in like 20 minutes which has never happened and is amazing in itself.
So we are having dinner, and I am slowly realizing how hot it is getting in the restaurant. I am always hot, I have an internal heater that works overtime, so I ignore it alot of the time. And all of a sudden my son, does not want to eat, does not want anyone, and doesnt want to sit in his car seat, I just changed him, so I think, he's just really warm, and he starts to lose it. He is crying kinda quiet at first, and he is a quiet baby, so this is alot for him. And my fiancee is getting uncomfortable, we try taking him out of his sleeper and start fanning him, just to try to finish dinner. That doesnt work, he starts screaming, my fiancee makes the call that we are leaving, so I grab him, and take him to the front of the restaurant, in the little area between the outside doors, and the second set of doors. I feel its cool in there, without being freezing outside. He immediately stops crying, he was just hot, thats all that was wrong.
So we pack him up in that little area, and we go home. I find out later on that there were two women at another table apparantly giving us snotty looks getting all mad that our son was upset. Immediately I get my back up thinking, who the hell are you... then I think, omg, that was me. I used to get really mad when a baby was crying in a restaurant. I used to think, why the hell did those parents bring a baby to a restaurant, and interrupt my dinner. Especially at a nice restaurant, I didnt come here to have a meal listening to some baby cry all night. And why didnt they get a babysitter. And I would actually get angry, and be like "great, how long is that going to go on for". And maybe I am alone, but I have a feeling Im not.
So now as I continue on in my wide eyed parenting, seeing the world through a whole new light, everything is different, everything has changed. Its so amazing how you see your life flipped into a new dimentia of Life, into what is called Parenting.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Thanks for all your support
You will all be happy to know that he is doing better now. Apparantly it was one rough day, and the next day he started feeling better. And for the first time in 12 days, our son is having regular colour stools, which is great. He's had a good few in a row. So things seem to be getting better. I want to thank everyone that has emailed me, facebooked, or commented, wondering how my son is, its always good to have support when he is down.
He has had some rough sleeps the past couple nights, but other than that he is still being a happy and healthy little boy. Although I dont know how used to the fact that I am with him being in 9 MONTH clothing, him being 3 1/2 months old. Only for his height, and his feet werent fitting into his sleepers. Everyone keeps suggesting just cut the toes out, and wear socks. And if his feet grow any bigger, we just may have to do that.
Anyways, I just wanted to let everyone know, he is better now, and I wanted to thank everyone for their support! Take care,
He has had some rough sleeps the past couple nights, but other than that he is still being a happy and healthy little boy. Although I dont know how used to the fact that I am with him being in 9 MONTH clothing, him being 3 1/2 months old. Only for his height, and his feet werent fitting into his sleepers. Everyone keeps suggesting just cut the toes out, and wear socks. And if his feet grow any bigger, we just may have to do that.
Anyways, I just wanted to let everyone know, he is better now, and I wanted to thank everyone for their support! Take care,
Sunday, April 19, 2009
Seriously????!!!??
So on the back end of my last post about doctors, its just so happened that we had to go to the alberta children's hospital last night. I am just in freaking awe about the level of how our health care system works. Here is the story.
Last night we were on our way over to my fiancee's parents house for dinner, when we get a call from them to pick up something from the grocery store for them. I drop off my fiancee so she can just run in and get it, where I do a big loop around the parking lot. I hear a sound in the back and as I look back I see almost oozing out of his mouth, vomiting, his eyes are popping out of his head, and his face is blue. I of course freak out, park the truck, run over to the other side, get him out of the car seat, it was insane, and a whirlwind all at the same time. I go over there, and I see blood in his vomit.
I am doing whatever I can to make sure he's okay, which he seems like he just got shocked the heck out of, but he is breathing, and he FILLED his diaper during that episode, I know because we just changed him before we left. So I wipe him down, change him out of his outfit, and I see bits of blood on his outfit. My fiancee calls, and asks where I am I said the other side of the parking lot, and our son just puked everywhere, and there is something wrong. With a blink she showed up, started to clean out the car seat. We have an insert in the car seat for colder days, It was soaked in puke, and she said "Is this blood?" I said "yeah, I was wondering if it was". She said it first "We are going to the hospital.", so I change his diaper and outfit. She cleans out his car seat, and within minutes we are out of there.
We get to the hospital, it happens again. He starts throwing up all over himself . This time my fiancee is in the back with him and we clean him up, I take him out of the car seat, and rush him into emergency. I didnt even close my door. I went up to the nurse, and told them what has happened, my fiancee is right behind me. She tells us okay, go into the triage right away, which we did. She took his temperature, he was fine, we rambled off whats been happening to him lately, he's had green poops the past 10 days... She said okay, go over to the acute treament side, and you will be called in soon, but first I had to be seperated.
They wanted me to go into a seperate area to fill out paperwork. So I go there, and just sit, and wait to be called. Finally they call my fiancee's name about 20 minutes later. We go into admitting, then I ask if I can go sit with them, and I still havent filled out anything. She almost laughed saying "Yes of course you can stay together". I was getting a little upset at this point, saying dont laugh its your stupid rules im trying to follow. So I go over and we wait, and we wait and wait and wait. Finally a couple hours later we reach "Triage 2", where they check him over, give him some pedialyte mixed with apple juice. They say "yeah we are really busy, if you came in yesterday or the day before it would have been fine", and Im thinking what a STUPID thing to say. Oh Im sorry my son didnt have vomiting blood episodes yesterday when it would have been convenient for the hospital. So we wait some more. In total we wait for about 4 hours.
Around 9:30, they FINALLY bring us in, Im thinking cool, a half hour tops and we are outta here. The doctor strolls in at about 10:45. Starts talking, a mile a minute I might add, saying things like "You know when a teenage drinks too much, then has to throw up after being so drunk, but if he throws up a few times, there are traces of blood in it, and the parents then get worried about him" Im thinking, WTF is wrong with you. He's three months old, do you think he's hammered and we are bringing him in, what a stupid analogy. How about you check him out before you start with the stupid comments. But no, he gets called out to a "Non-stat emergency", which we then are like, fine, our son has been okay since been here, he is EXHAUSTED tired, we just want to take him home but we have to wait another 20 minutes for the doctor to come back. He takes a whoping 1 minute to look at him, feel him for lumps, checks his ears and eyes. And says, "He's probably fine now".
So we take him home realizing we've been at the hospital for about 6 hours. We are now both wondering if our son is going to get sick from being in the waiting room for so long, caught something from all the other sick kids that were there. And I wonder what the heck is with our health care system that it takes 6 hours for a hospital to check over a 3 month old baby that has blood in his vomit. I am just shocked about that. I mean weve been through the waiting game a couple times while my fiancee was pregnant and we would spend a good 10 hours, sometimes longer, which even then I was just thinking why. Now a tiny little new baby takes so long. And I think its funny that my wavering thoughts about doctors, and now we go through this, the only word I have is "Seriously???!!!??"
Last night we were on our way over to my fiancee's parents house for dinner, when we get a call from them to pick up something from the grocery store for them. I drop off my fiancee so she can just run in and get it, where I do a big loop around the parking lot. I hear a sound in the back and as I look back I see almost oozing out of his mouth, vomiting, his eyes are popping out of his head, and his face is blue. I of course freak out, park the truck, run over to the other side, get him out of the car seat, it was insane, and a whirlwind all at the same time. I go over there, and I see blood in his vomit.
I am doing whatever I can to make sure he's okay, which he seems like he just got shocked the heck out of, but he is breathing, and he FILLED his diaper during that episode, I know because we just changed him before we left. So I wipe him down, change him out of his outfit, and I see bits of blood on his outfit. My fiancee calls, and asks where I am I said the other side of the parking lot, and our son just puked everywhere, and there is something wrong. With a blink she showed up, started to clean out the car seat. We have an insert in the car seat for colder days, It was soaked in puke, and she said "Is this blood?" I said "yeah, I was wondering if it was". She said it first "We are going to the hospital.", so I change his diaper and outfit. She cleans out his car seat, and within minutes we are out of there.
We get to the hospital, it happens again. He starts throwing up all over himself . This time my fiancee is in the back with him and we clean him up, I take him out of the car seat, and rush him into emergency. I didnt even close my door. I went up to the nurse, and told them what has happened, my fiancee is right behind me. She tells us okay, go into the triage right away, which we did. She took his temperature, he was fine, we rambled off whats been happening to him lately, he's had green poops the past 10 days... She said okay, go over to the acute treament side, and you will be called in soon, but first I had to be seperated.
They wanted me to go into a seperate area to fill out paperwork. So I go there, and just sit, and wait to be called. Finally they call my fiancee's name about 20 minutes later. We go into admitting, then I ask if I can go sit with them, and I still havent filled out anything. She almost laughed saying "Yes of course you can stay together". I was getting a little upset at this point, saying dont laugh its your stupid rules im trying to follow. So I go over and we wait, and we wait and wait and wait. Finally a couple hours later we reach "Triage 2", where they check him over, give him some pedialyte mixed with apple juice. They say "yeah we are really busy, if you came in yesterday or the day before it would have been fine", and Im thinking what a STUPID thing to say. Oh Im sorry my son didnt have vomiting blood episodes yesterday when it would have been convenient for the hospital. So we wait some more. In total we wait for about 4 hours.
Around 9:30, they FINALLY bring us in, Im thinking cool, a half hour tops and we are outta here. The doctor strolls in at about 10:45. Starts talking, a mile a minute I might add, saying things like "You know when a teenage drinks too much, then has to throw up after being so drunk, but if he throws up a few times, there are traces of blood in it, and the parents then get worried about him" Im thinking, WTF is wrong with you. He's three months old, do you think he's hammered and we are bringing him in, what a stupid analogy. How about you check him out before you start with the stupid comments. But no, he gets called out to a "Non-stat emergency", which we then are like, fine, our son has been okay since been here, he is EXHAUSTED tired, we just want to take him home but we have to wait another 20 minutes for the doctor to come back. He takes a whoping 1 minute to look at him, feel him for lumps, checks his ears and eyes. And says, "He's probably fine now".
So we take him home realizing we've been at the hospital for about 6 hours. We are now both wondering if our son is going to get sick from being in the waiting room for so long, caught something from all the other sick kids that were there. And I wonder what the heck is with our health care system that it takes 6 hours for a hospital to check over a 3 month old baby that has blood in his vomit. I am just shocked about that. I mean weve been through the waiting game a couple times while my fiancee was pregnant and we would spend a good 10 hours, sometimes longer, which even then I was just thinking why. Now a tiny little new baby takes so long. And I think its funny that my wavering thoughts about doctors, and now we go through this, the only word I have is "Seriously???!!!??"
Thursday, April 16, 2009
Drugs, Doses, Doctors, Do or Dont?
So I am having a dilemma today, and part of me is wondering why I am thinking this, but I am, so I thought I would share it with you all. Its funny because I never thought I would be holistic in anyway, I always thought, you know what, Doctors know what they are doing, they have done alot of schooling, and alot of apprentiship, so to speak, and you dont just get to diagnose people over night. However some recent developments have me question my already waivering views on doctors and why I should trust them.
Since my son was born I have been having thinking of my own health. I think this is something every person goes through after their child is born. I think about the day that he will turn 18, I think about the first day he drives a car, the first day he drinks, the day he gets married and has kids of his own. I am thinking so far in advance, even wondering how old he will be when he has grand kids. But in all that, I think what will I be around for. You think, have I taken good care of myself. What irreparable choices have I made in my past that have been defined in me that has shortened my life span. Is there something that is in me that I have just ignored for so long, until now, and is it too late. I really do think that at some point after having a child you start to think along the lines of what I have mentioned.
Because of this I decided it is time for me to get a physical. I decided I should find out and see what my status is in life. And from my experience I have to say it was a bit of a let down, in a good way. To be told in two words over the phone as a summary, "You're fine", makes me wonder why did I even bother. Are they really doing their job to the endth degree, why wasnt a follow up appointment made to discuss the results. Or is that good enough, I should be happy with the fact that nothing is wrong, and if there was something that was serious enough to be said, it would have been said.
And now, as my loyal readers have been reading, my soon is having stool issues. Over the past week, with some switching in formula, and possibly some issues with either high iron, or not enough hind milk. My fiancee took our son in to get looked at, and they prescribed something called "Motilium". Now if you google that, there is just nothing on that list that I see could be beneficial to us, below are some quotes:
"Motilium® is no longer being manufactured for sale in Canada."
"Domperidone(Motilium) must never be used as the first approach to correcting breastfeeding difficulties"
"must not be used unless all other factors which may result in insufficient milk supply have been dealt with first."
Yet it was the first thing that they prescribed. And its frustrating because I knew that a drug would be the result of this, either for our son, or for my fiancee. And so now there is just a problem that I seem to be struggling with more and more. Technology and medicine has advanced so much, and continues to do so all the time, which means they have a pill for everything. So if they have figured things out, why shouldnt I trust the pill they prescribe. And again, we should be happy with all the advances that have been made, so why do people shudder at taking drugs, or trusting the dose amount prescribed by doctors.
Tell me I am way off, and you havent thought to yourself at one point or another, why did they prescribe this to me, did I really need all of this. Or am I just being paranoid? I am definetly not as far as to say the doctors are working in some giant conspiracy with prescription drug companies, or anything crazy. I just think sometimes a step back should occur and think, about how quickly a diagnoses is made, and how quickly you are placed in a category, that this must fix you.
What do you think?
Since my son was born I have been having thinking of my own health. I think this is something every person goes through after their child is born. I think about the day that he will turn 18, I think about the first day he drives a car, the first day he drinks, the day he gets married and has kids of his own. I am thinking so far in advance, even wondering how old he will be when he has grand kids. But in all that, I think what will I be around for. You think, have I taken good care of myself. What irreparable choices have I made in my past that have been defined in me that has shortened my life span. Is there something that is in me that I have just ignored for so long, until now, and is it too late. I really do think that at some point after having a child you start to think along the lines of what I have mentioned.
Because of this I decided it is time for me to get a physical. I decided I should find out and see what my status is in life. And from my experience I have to say it was a bit of a let down, in a good way. To be told in two words over the phone as a summary, "You're fine", makes me wonder why did I even bother. Are they really doing their job to the endth degree, why wasnt a follow up appointment made to discuss the results. Or is that good enough, I should be happy with the fact that nothing is wrong, and if there was something that was serious enough to be said, it would have been said.
And now, as my loyal readers have been reading, my soon is having stool issues. Over the past week, with some switching in formula, and possibly some issues with either high iron, or not enough hind milk. My fiancee took our son in to get looked at, and they prescribed something called "Motilium". Now if you google that, there is just nothing on that list that I see could be beneficial to us, below are some quotes:
"Motilium® is no longer being manufactured for sale in Canada."
"Domperidone(Motilium) must never be used as the first approach to correcting breastfeeding difficulties"
"must not be used unless all other factors which may result in insufficient milk supply have been dealt with first."
Yet it was the first thing that they prescribed. And its frustrating because I knew that a drug would be the result of this, either for our son, or for my fiancee. And so now there is just a problem that I seem to be struggling with more and more. Technology and medicine has advanced so much, and continues to do so all the time, which means they have a pill for everything. So if they have figured things out, why shouldnt I trust the pill they prescribe. And again, we should be happy with all the advances that have been made, so why do people shudder at taking drugs, or trusting the dose amount prescribed by doctors.
Tell me I am way off, and you havent thought to yourself at one point or another, why did they prescribe this to me, did I really need all of this. Or am I just being paranoid? I am definetly not as far as to say the doctors are working in some giant conspiracy with prescription drug companies, or anything crazy. I just think sometimes a step back should occur and think, about how quickly a diagnoses is made, and how quickly you are placed in a category, that this must fix you.
What do you think?
Saturday, April 11, 2009
The formula of Formula...
We decided to phone health link today as our son is still having issues with having greeny liquid poops, and we are starting to get worried. We took him off the enfamil and put him back on the good start, but its been a few days and he hasnt gotten any better. But Im thinking it will take him a few days to get back into it.
The "on-call" doctor at health link did say that we should be getting him onto an iron reduced formula, as they think thats the problem. Apparantly for the first 6 months, a Baby really doesnt need any more iron then the little they get from breast milk. Its not like vitamin D, where they do need to be supplemented.
But this does make me nervous because moms out there have told me on this blog, that switching is hard on his stomach, and hard on his system, but we think that their is an issue, so I dont think we have a choice. I am going to go look at the backs of all the formula kinds and look for the one with the least amount of iron, and go with that one. And this whole subject is very odd to me, since i have seen A LOT of formulas out there that state: "Iron fortified", so it seems like its a good thing?
And he's still up a couple times a night now, when he was doing amazing, sleeping for like 7 hours straight. He poops himself awake it seems, and its not pretty, and he's not happy, and we feel horrible, and want to help him.
Has anyone else been in this situation that can offer some advice? A good name brand of formula? How we should switch to that new formula? If there is a way to do this that least affects him?
The "on-call" doctor at health link did say that we should be getting him onto an iron reduced formula, as they think thats the problem. Apparantly for the first 6 months, a Baby really doesnt need any more iron then the little they get from breast milk. Its not like vitamin D, where they do need to be supplemented.
But this does make me nervous because moms out there have told me on this blog, that switching is hard on his stomach, and hard on his system, but we think that their is an issue, so I dont think we have a choice. I am going to go look at the backs of all the formula kinds and look for the one with the least amount of iron, and go with that one. And this whole subject is very odd to me, since i have seen A LOT of formulas out there that state: "Iron fortified", so it seems like its a good thing?
And he's still up a couple times a night now, when he was doing amazing, sleeping for like 7 hours straight. He poops himself awake it seems, and its not pretty, and he's not happy, and we feel horrible, and want to help him.
Has anyone else been in this situation that can offer some advice? A good name brand of formula? How we should switch to that new formula? If there is a way to do this that least affects him?
Friday, April 10, 2009
The Birth of my Son - The Conclusion
It's now 2:20, its go time, we are ready. We have a nurse with us, which I am a little confused about, I thought when you were ready to push is when the doctor comes out. But apparantly that is not true. The nurse even told us, "You dont want the codtor around yet anyways". Which confused me at the time even more so, but I realized why.
During the baby class we were told about a few things about giving birth. Certain things you need to trust your doctor with, other things, its your right to stick up for yourself, your wife, and your child thats coming. Doctors have an amazing job and do amazing things, but they do what they feel is best in the circumstances. Maybe they are on hour 20 of being at work and have been doing 10 births in that time. You are allowed to question what is going on. And two words that frightened me the most were "foreceps", "vaccuum", and then this new one that definetly give me shivers is "episiotemy". All three of which I prayed and prayed and prayed would not be used. And I realize there are situations where lives are at risk that certain things need to be done, however, there are also times that doctors, and this I was told, want to just get the job done and whichever way is the quickest would be what they would suggest. That is not okay with me.
So my fiancee is pushing and pushing, going through the motions, and I feel like I am a line backer at this point. Again, during baby classes, I thought there is NO WAY I am going to look down there when it happens, I would just never see that area the same if I did. But the truth of the matter is I did look, the whole time I looked. My fiancee and her mom had her feet in our shoulders, and we were pushing those legs back towards her head. I am positive she felt like a pretzel but its what the nurse said to do during the contractions, and then relax and massage during down time. So you could easily see the baby coming down the birth canal. Even talking about this now, I know how I would have reacted if I was reading this, I would have been totally disgusted. But when its your fiancee, and your baby, its not, and I have no idea why its not.
At one point we had to stop and my fiancee had to turn into another position. The nurse could see that the baby had stop making progress, it looked like he was stuck. My heart dropped, I had no idea what to do. Our nurse virtually had no sense of humour, and was very matter of fact about everything, as opposed to all the other nurses who were smiling, and good spirited. So it was hard to tell from the nurse how serious what was happening is. So she turned on her side and tried pushing that way, turned on the other side, tried pushing that way. Every which way. Eventually it did work, and he continued down the path. This was a huge blessing, this was a worry, and I still to this day wonder if we would have done that if we had a doctor rather than a nurse. So I understand why the doctors dont come until the end, and I was appreciative of that.
Now the head is "crowning" I think the word was used. It looked like a turtle coming out of its shell and then going back in every minute. Sorry, thats a horrible analogy, but its true. You just see this white mass coming out. More and more every time. And at this point, I have seen people angry and their face turns red. I see people hot from working out or being in a really hot room and they turn read. I see peoples faces get burned from being in the sun too long. None of these colours can describe my fiancee at this point. I am telling you, PURPLE as purple can get. That it seemed like for every contraction she was lifting up a car. And at this point when his head is kinda staying out, is when the doctors should up.
Yes I did say doctors, because there was a doctor that was in training apparantly. She was introduced to us earlier saying that she is learning and will be doing the delivery. Which I thought to myself, really? Two things I have to say about that. Two new parents, never been through this before, and you come and tell us that the biggest thing we have ever been through will be handled by someone that is new at this? You dont think she should practice on women that have already given birth? I know some of you are thinking its not brain surgery, quit thinking so neurotically, but this is the most important things in both of our lives and I would like someone that has some experience at it. And secondly, why would you tell us, why not just both of you doctors walk in as a team, and go through it. Seriously, why tell us and make us nervous. I just didnt understand. But my fiancee could care less I think. As long as they were there and could catch, she was fine.
So the new doctor started doing this thing that I still picture. Think of like a stereo tipical mind-reader or gypsy or whatever you want to call them. Gazing into the crystal ball. Kinda rubing their hand over it. Thats what I pictured when the doctor was doing that to my son's head. It seemed really painfull but was a good thing to do. This was one of the "trust the doctor" moments. So she pushed and pushed, and he did came slowly and slowly.
Then all of a sudden his head is pretty much out. You can see the umbilical cord is wrapped around his neck. This is the "dont push" part. And everyone is telling my fiancee it. so they whip that thing out from around his neck. And she pushes him out. Then they ask me to cut the umbilical cord. Which I do, quite nervously, I honestly didnt think I would do it, but the moment came and I wanted to. It took me 2 snips because I was so nervous, and apparantly he had a large cord, which they said was good.
They start sucking the fluid out of him. And they dont even slap their butt any more to make them cry. I thought they still did that. But he eventually did begin to cry. Not very much though. And I was even trying to soothe him right away, where the nurse said "No, you want him to cry right now, its getting all the excess fluid and mucous out", to which I thought, oh makes sense.
Then they hand him to me. I am quite an emotional wreck right now. Everything that my fiancee had just been through, lack of sleep, all those nine months of appointments, and massages and the uncomfortablenesss that my fiancee had been through, the PUPPPs, just everything culminated in one moment of bliss and happiness beyond belief. I dont know how to describe it. He was just the coolest thing ever, and will ever be. I thought, this is it. I have reached the pinacle of my life. I have the biggest blessing a man could ever ask for. And I cried like a 2 year old.
Alot of stuff happened next, but to be honest I was too much in a daze. My fiancee had to deliver the placenta, we took some pictures, he was weighed in. They wrapped him up, and Im sure all this is completely out of order. The world just stopped when I held my son for the first time, and even as I am writting this, I am remembering that feeling. Its alot like when he sees me after I come home from work and he smiles at me. Its the worlds way of telling you why you do things, and what things matter.
So to all of you that have read my story, thanks for reading it. For those expectant fathers, and mothers, I hope this helps. For those moms and dads that have already been through this, Im sure we have some similarities as well as some differences. I have the best life and the best son in the entire world, and I am thankfull I get to be a part of his life everyday. And to my fiancee, I love you very much, and thank you for being the amazing Mom that you are.
The End.
During the baby class we were told about a few things about giving birth. Certain things you need to trust your doctor with, other things, its your right to stick up for yourself, your wife, and your child thats coming. Doctors have an amazing job and do amazing things, but they do what they feel is best in the circumstances. Maybe they are on hour 20 of being at work and have been doing 10 births in that time. You are allowed to question what is going on. And two words that frightened me the most were "foreceps", "vaccuum", and then this new one that definetly give me shivers is "episiotemy". All three of which I prayed and prayed and prayed would not be used. And I realize there are situations where lives are at risk that certain things need to be done, however, there are also times that doctors, and this I was told, want to just get the job done and whichever way is the quickest would be what they would suggest. That is not okay with me.
So my fiancee is pushing and pushing, going through the motions, and I feel like I am a line backer at this point. Again, during baby classes, I thought there is NO WAY I am going to look down there when it happens, I would just never see that area the same if I did. But the truth of the matter is I did look, the whole time I looked. My fiancee and her mom had her feet in our shoulders, and we were pushing those legs back towards her head. I am positive she felt like a pretzel but its what the nurse said to do during the contractions, and then relax and massage during down time. So you could easily see the baby coming down the birth canal. Even talking about this now, I know how I would have reacted if I was reading this, I would have been totally disgusted. But when its your fiancee, and your baby, its not, and I have no idea why its not.
At one point we had to stop and my fiancee had to turn into another position. The nurse could see that the baby had stop making progress, it looked like he was stuck. My heart dropped, I had no idea what to do. Our nurse virtually had no sense of humour, and was very matter of fact about everything, as opposed to all the other nurses who were smiling, and good spirited. So it was hard to tell from the nurse how serious what was happening is. So she turned on her side and tried pushing that way, turned on the other side, tried pushing that way. Every which way. Eventually it did work, and he continued down the path. This was a huge blessing, this was a worry, and I still to this day wonder if we would have done that if we had a doctor rather than a nurse. So I understand why the doctors dont come until the end, and I was appreciative of that.
Now the head is "crowning" I think the word was used. It looked like a turtle coming out of its shell and then going back in every minute. Sorry, thats a horrible analogy, but its true. You just see this white mass coming out. More and more every time. And at this point, I have seen people angry and their face turns red. I see people hot from working out or being in a really hot room and they turn read. I see peoples faces get burned from being in the sun too long. None of these colours can describe my fiancee at this point. I am telling you, PURPLE as purple can get. That it seemed like for every contraction she was lifting up a car. And at this point when his head is kinda staying out, is when the doctors should up.
Yes I did say doctors, because there was a doctor that was in training apparantly. She was introduced to us earlier saying that she is learning and will be doing the delivery. Which I thought to myself, really? Two things I have to say about that. Two new parents, never been through this before, and you come and tell us that the biggest thing we have ever been through will be handled by someone that is new at this? You dont think she should practice on women that have already given birth? I know some of you are thinking its not brain surgery, quit thinking so neurotically, but this is the most important things in both of our lives and I would like someone that has some experience at it. And secondly, why would you tell us, why not just both of you doctors walk in as a team, and go through it. Seriously, why tell us and make us nervous. I just didnt understand. But my fiancee could care less I think. As long as they were there and could catch, she was fine.
So the new doctor started doing this thing that I still picture. Think of like a stereo tipical mind-reader or gypsy or whatever you want to call them. Gazing into the crystal ball. Kinda rubing their hand over it. Thats what I pictured when the doctor was doing that to my son's head. It seemed really painfull but was a good thing to do. This was one of the "trust the doctor" moments. So she pushed and pushed, and he did came slowly and slowly.
Then all of a sudden his head is pretty much out. You can see the umbilical cord is wrapped around his neck. This is the "dont push" part. And everyone is telling my fiancee it. so they whip that thing out from around his neck. And she pushes him out. Then they ask me to cut the umbilical cord. Which I do, quite nervously, I honestly didnt think I would do it, but the moment came and I wanted to. It took me 2 snips because I was so nervous, and apparantly he had a large cord, which they said was good.
They start sucking the fluid out of him. And they dont even slap their butt any more to make them cry. I thought they still did that. But he eventually did begin to cry. Not very much though. And I was even trying to soothe him right away, where the nurse said "No, you want him to cry right now, its getting all the excess fluid and mucous out", to which I thought, oh makes sense.
Then they hand him to me. I am quite an emotional wreck right now. Everything that my fiancee had just been through, lack of sleep, all those nine months of appointments, and massages and the uncomfortablenesss that my fiancee had been through, the PUPPPs, just everything culminated in one moment of bliss and happiness beyond belief. I dont know how to describe it. He was just the coolest thing ever, and will ever be. I thought, this is it. I have reached the pinacle of my life. I have the biggest blessing a man could ever ask for. And I cried like a 2 year old.
Alot of stuff happened next, but to be honest I was too much in a daze. My fiancee had to deliver the placenta, we took some pictures, he was weighed in. They wrapped him up, and Im sure all this is completely out of order. The world just stopped when I held my son for the first time, and even as I am writting this, I am remembering that feeling. Its alot like when he sees me after I come home from work and he smiles at me. Its the worlds way of telling you why you do things, and what things matter.
So to all of you that have read my story, thanks for reading it. For those expectant fathers, and mothers, I hope this helps. For those moms and dads that have already been through this, Im sure we have some similarities as well as some differences. I have the best life and the best son in the entire world, and I am thankfull I get to be a part of his life everyday. And to my fiancee, I love you very much, and thank you for being the amazing Mom that you are.
The End.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Childproofing the home
Hello Everyone,
I know my son is only 3 months old, so Im sure some of you are wondering why the heck I am talking about childproofing, when I have absolutely nothing to worry about at least for a few months. The truth of the matter is, I am the type of guy that got the babies room completely finished when my fiancee was about 5 months pregnant. I just want to get things done. But yet another reason is, my son has 2 cousins. One is 15 months old, and one is 20 months old. And we would like to have play dates at our house, or have people confortable to bring their children over, so I figured I should start getting this done now.
I have struggled with the endth degree that childproofing should occur. There is a certain point that you have to be like, ok you cant wrap your child in bubble wrap, nor can you wrap the world in bubble wrap, so there has to be a line. We have tile all over our house, which make sharp edges for stairs, and there is a sunken living room, so I think for that we will be doing some "bumpers". And we need a couple baby gates, one that has to extend quite far. And other than that Im not too sure what we need.
And on the subject of baby gates, I have heard of one story of the type of baby gate that does NOT screw into the wall it just presses out, and the baby actually knocked into it, which made the bottom loose and two frighened parents found their child at the bottom of the stairs crying. They brought him into the hospital, and luckily not a scratch on the child which is amazing, but still it made me realize that we definetly need the screw into the wall kind of baby gates installed for sure.
Do you have thoughts on what products are really good? Are there certain baby proofing that worked for you? Or certain things that just didnt, and you wish you hadnt spent money on. Please let me know what you think?
I know my son is only 3 months old, so Im sure some of you are wondering why the heck I am talking about childproofing, when I have absolutely nothing to worry about at least for a few months. The truth of the matter is, I am the type of guy that got the babies room completely finished when my fiancee was about 5 months pregnant. I just want to get things done. But yet another reason is, my son has 2 cousins. One is 15 months old, and one is 20 months old. And we would like to have play dates at our house, or have people confortable to bring their children over, so I figured I should start getting this done now.
I have struggled with the endth degree that childproofing should occur. There is a certain point that you have to be like, ok you cant wrap your child in bubble wrap, nor can you wrap the world in bubble wrap, so there has to be a line. We have tile all over our house, which make sharp edges for stairs, and there is a sunken living room, so I think for that we will be doing some "bumpers". And we need a couple baby gates, one that has to extend quite far. And other than that Im not too sure what we need.
And on the subject of baby gates, I have heard of one story of the type of baby gate that does NOT screw into the wall it just presses out, and the baby actually knocked into it, which made the bottom loose and two frighened parents found their child at the bottom of the stairs crying. They brought him into the hospital, and luckily not a scratch on the child which is amazing, but still it made me realize that we definetly need the screw into the wall kind of baby gates installed for sure.
Do you have thoughts on what products are really good? Are there certain baby proofing that worked for you? Or certain things that just didnt, and you wish you hadnt spent money on. Please let me know what you think?
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
2 questions... anyone know?
1. What is ash? Its in the formula, just wondering is more better or worst?
2. What does it mean when you have a watery green stool in the diaper? Ive read it has something to do with High Iron content, or has something to do with not getting hind milk, only the foremilk. Is this something we need to be concerned about???? PLEASE HELP
2. What does it mean when you have a watery green stool in the diaper? Ive read it has something to do with High Iron content, or has something to do with not getting hind milk, only the foremilk. Is this something we need to be concerned about???? PLEASE HELP
Monday, April 6, 2009
How long should you breast feed for?
So there is a bit of a discussion occuring about how long you are supposed to breast feed for. The more people that I talk to about it, the more I realize that there are not that many people that I know that breast feed in this day and age. It either takes too long or its too much work, or other reasons, but regardless people have made up their decision.
We have decided to breast feed regardless, even though he does get supplemented with formulas, as those who read my blog know, but Im wondering how long you go for? Will something happen, does the breast milk production eventually dwindle? I know that my fiancee wakes up in the morning and she is full to the brim ready to feed him, as much as he is ready to be fed. I just wonder whats going to happen in 3 months, or 6 months, or 9 months. Obviously the doctors have drilled it into our head to breast feed for at least 3 months, but where is the line? You start solid food at 6 months, I know that too.
Your thoughts? Did you chose not to breast feed? Did you do both like we are? How long did you do it?
We have decided to breast feed regardless, even though he does get supplemented with formulas, as those who read my blog know, but Im wondering how long you go for? Will something happen, does the breast milk production eventually dwindle? I know that my fiancee wakes up in the morning and she is full to the brim ready to feed him, as much as he is ready to be fed. I just wonder whats going to happen in 3 months, or 6 months, or 9 months. Obviously the doctors have drilled it into our head to breast feed for at least 3 months, but where is the line? You start solid food at 6 months, I know that too.
Your thoughts? Did you chose not to breast feed? Did you do both like we are? How long did you do it?
Whats the best formula?
So we are about to switch to our third type of formula. We started with Similac from the hospital, then we moved to Nestle good start, and now we are on to Enfamil. We are not to sure the signs to look for that its a good formula.
The nestle good start seems to be working for him sleeping the nights, but he has really bad smelling farts and poops. I swear its worst than the similac, but I think its better as its not as thick as the similac, seems more like breast milk. Keep in mind we only give him 1 bottle every night, which is half breast milk, half formulas. We want him on as much breast milk as possible.
But now my fiancee wants to try the enfamil, see if thats better. Prices do vary quite a bit, the good start is the most expensive, and the enfamil is the cheapest. So Im wondering if anyone out there thinks one brand is really good vs another, or if there is really that much of a difference. Keep in mind our son is turning 3 months old tomorrow, so he is still only on the ready made stuff, we cant use the powder yet. Thanks for your help!
The nestle good start seems to be working for him sleeping the nights, but he has really bad smelling farts and poops. I swear its worst than the similac, but I think its better as its not as thick as the similac, seems more like breast milk. Keep in mind we only give him 1 bottle every night, which is half breast milk, half formulas. We want him on as much breast milk as possible.
But now my fiancee wants to try the enfamil, see if thats better. Prices do vary quite a bit, the good start is the most expensive, and the enfamil is the cheapest. So Im wondering if anyone out there thinks one brand is really good vs another, or if there is really that much of a difference. Keep in mind our son is turning 3 months old tomorrow, so he is still only on the ready made stuff, we cant use the powder yet. Thanks for your help!
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