I know quite a few of new parents and they do all tend to say the same thing. Once you start your child on a schedule, and everyone gets into the flow of it, is when they will change it on you. They also say that once your child is on a schedule you will begin to be able to do things alot easier, you will be able to go out, and do things. You will be able to understand that when your child cries, you can look at the time and think "Oh its because you are hungry", or "No wonder you are cranky it should be your nap time".
I came to realize that he is over 9 weeks old and he is not on a schedule. My fiancee and I are doing the best we can, and rarely does our son cry, because we are always catering to him, without even attempting a schedule. And I was wondering how to even begin the process. Maybe I should stop being bothered by this as he is only 9 weeks old, and he may not go onto a schedule for a few months yet. However I want to help my fiancee out as much as possible, but neither one of us think that at this stage in the game "tough love" is the way to go. We both think he is way to young to just put him down and listen to him cry himself to sleep. Even to take him off the boob after its been a certain amount of time, saying ok you didnt drink fast enough, so now you have to wait til the next feeding and do it faster.
So I am looking for help, am I way too soon on trying to get him on a schedule? Is there some tips and tricks people have on what to do to get more time for my fiancee? Any help is much appreciated.
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Really "tough love" for a two month old baby, what are you thinking? How MANIPULATIVE do you think a two month old baby can be. CATERING to a two month old, really what is he asking you for? You just need to tell him to get to his room and sleep for seven hours, that should work. Sacarism is not great, he is nine weeks old and has no idea what a schedule is and for that matter I'm sure the parents have no idea what a schedule looks like for a nine week old baby. Listen and learn from your baby he isn't trying manipulate you, he just needs to be nurished and loved.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I appreciate your answer. And we definetly are not doing any tough love, I am thinking that we are no where near that. Are schedules a myth that parents talk about then, but really dont happen until well after 6 months then? I am more that happy to cater to his every whim, I wasnt sure what to do as to why I was asking. We do nurish and love him all the time, he is our everything in life. Anyways, if we just need to keep going as we are going because you just need to do what your child is asking of you, Im more than okay with that.
ReplyDeleteAs the other half of what 'New Dad' is saying. By catering we mean, holding him as much as possible, when we do put him down, pick him up when he gets upset, if he needs, let him nurse for 3+ hours at times because of low stimulation because of nipple shields, talk to him, play with him, and other such things that a two month old needs. Like he said above, we have no problems doing it either. What he was aksing is, does putting them on a schedule (or to use maybe a better word, a routine) help the new parents become more acquainted with their child, and understand them better by thinking that "Oh it has been about 3 hours he must be hungry, or he needs to sleep" Rather than "Why are you crying, I don't understand, you have been feeding, for 2 hours, are you still hungry, has my milk not let down yet, or are you just tired?"
ReplyDeleteWe in no way shape or form believe that he is manipulating us in any way, we are trying to understand him better. And as well, we were so concerned that he wasn't gaining weight that we took him off of a six hour sleep at night and put him back to four hours to make sure he was healthy. Our baby rarely cries, and when he does it is only because he is hungry, or has an upset tummy. So if a happy healthy baby doens't say concerned caring parents, I am not sure what else does...
I think it will just happen. You all seem to adjust to each other. The baby will cry and you will figure out that it is because he is hungry or tired. I have to say that I did the whole nursing thing for 2 hours at a time because I wasn't sure whether to stop them or not but I did end up getting mastitis twice and that was not fun either. It will all come naturally.
ReplyDeleteI didn't have a routine for Bree until she was much older. And my "routine" isn't very strict. I don't like that because it limits you - "I can't go out because it's her lunch time" etc...that way I can still have a life. But she does tend to eat at the same times and nap at the same time. One thing that I do have pretty regimented is bed time and I started doing that when she was about 6 months old.
ReplyDeleteYou're little guy is young and from what it sounds like you are doing exactly what I did with Brianna - so keep up the great work guys! It will all fall into place!! :) - Trina
I know you are not a book guy, but the baby whisperer swears by the EASY method which we ended up doing by accident. I hadn't read the book, I just old someone how we roll and they said it was the EASY method.
ReplyDeleteEat Activity Sleep You. It seems to work well.
We did however read a sleep book and it says that a baby with develop sleep habits on their own especially naps. Especially if you stick to the 1 - 2 hour of wakefulness then nap time. I didn't know about this until later on and I sure wish I knew before hand. And once you get a napping routine in place it makes going out so much easier.
As for the cry it out method, yeah at least six months. It does seem to work really fast. It freakin kills me listening to him cry, usually I'm crying too but it works.
The routine you should start now is the bedtime routine, that way he knows that it's time to sleep bath, book, eat, sleep.
Let me know if you find any of this helpful........all babies are different and what works for one probably won't work for another.