The Birth of my Son - The Conclusion

It's now 2:20, its go time, we are ready. We have a nurse with us, which I am a little confused about, I thought when you were ready to push is when the doctor comes out. But apparantly that is not true. The nurse even told us, "You dont want the codtor around yet anyways". Which confused me at the time even more so, but I realized why.

During the baby class we were told about a few things about giving birth. Certain things you need to trust your doctor with, other things, its your right to stick up for yourself, your wife, and your child thats coming. Doctors have an amazing job and do amazing things, but they do what they feel is best in the circumstances. Maybe they are on hour 20 of being at work and have been doing 10 births in that time. You are allowed to question what is going on. And two words that frightened me the most were "foreceps", "vaccuum", and then this new one that definetly give me shivers is "episiotemy". All three of which I prayed and prayed and prayed would not be used. And I realize there are situations where lives are at risk that certain things need to be done, however, there are also times that doctors, and this I was told, want to just get the job done and whichever way is the quickest would be what they would suggest. That is not okay with me.

So my fiancee is pushing and pushing, going through the motions, and I feel like I am a line backer at this point. Again, during baby classes, I thought there is NO WAY I am going to look down there when it happens, I would just never see that area the same if I did. But the truth of the matter is I did look, the whole time I looked. My fiancee and her mom had her feet in our shoulders, and we were pushing those legs back towards her head. I am positive she felt like a pretzel but its what the nurse said to do during the contractions, and then relax and massage during down time. So you could easily see the baby coming down the birth canal. Even talking about this now, I know how I would have reacted if I was reading this, I would have been totally disgusted. But when its your fiancee, and your baby, its not, and I have no idea why its not.

At one point we had to stop and my fiancee had to turn into another position. The nurse could see that the baby had stop making progress, it looked like he was stuck. My heart dropped, I had no idea what to do. Our nurse virtually had no sense of humour, and was very matter of fact about everything, as opposed to all the other nurses who were smiling, and good spirited. So it was hard to tell from the nurse how serious what was happening is. So she turned on her side and tried pushing that way, turned on the other side, tried pushing that way. Every which way. Eventually it did work, and he continued down the path. This was a huge blessing, this was a worry, and I still to this day wonder if we would have done that if we had a doctor rather than a nurse. So I understand why the doctors dont come until the end, and I was appreciative of that.

Now the head is "crowning" I think the word was used. It looked like a turtle coming out of its shell and then going back in every minute. Sorry, thats a horrible analogy, but its true. You just see this white mass coming out. More and more every time. And at this point, I have seen people angry and their face turns red. I see people hot from working out or being in a really hot room and they turn read. I see peoples faces get burned from being in the sun too long. None of these colours can describe my fiancee at this point. I am telling you, PURPLE as purple can get. That it seemed like for every contraction she was lifting up a car. And at this point when his head is kinda staying out, is when the doctors should up.

Yes I did say doctors, because there was a doctor that was in training apparantly. She was introduced to us earlier saying that she is learning and will be doing the delivery. Which I thought to myself, really? Two things I have to say about that. Two new parents, never been through this before, and you come and tell us that the biggest thing we have ever been through will be handled by someone that is new at this? You dont think she should practice on women that have already given birth? I know some of you are thinking its not brain surgery, quit thinking so neurotically, but this is the most important things in both of our lives and I would like someone that has some experience at it. And secondly, why would you tell us, why not just both of you doctors walk in as a team, and go through it. Seriously, why tell us and make us nervous. I just didnt understand. But my fiancee could care less I think. As long as they were there and could catch, she was fine.

So the new doctor started doing this thing that I still picture. Think of like a stereo tipical mind-reader or gypsy or whatever you want to call them. Gazing into the crystal ball. Kinda rubing their hand over it. Thats what I pictured when the doctor was doing that to my son's head. It seemed really painfull but was a good thing to do. This was one of the "trust the doctor" moments. So she pushed and pushed, and he did came slowly and slowly.

Then all of a sudden his head is pretty much out. You can see the umbilical cord is wrapped around his neck. This is the "dont push" part. And everyone is telling my fiancee it. so they whip that thing out from around his neck. And she pushes him out. Then they ask me to cut the umbilical cord. Which I do, quite nervously, I honestly didnt think I would do it, but the moment came and I wanted to. It took me 2 snips because I was so nervous, and apparantly he had a large cord, which they said was good.

They start sucking the fluid out of him. And they dont even slap their butt any more to make them cry. I thought they still did that. But he eventually did begin to cry. Not very much though. And I was even trying to soothe him right away, where the nurse said "No, you want him to cry right now, its getting all the excess fluid and mucous out", to which I thought, oh makes sense.

Then they hand him to me. I am quite an emotional wreck right now. Everything that my fiancee had just been through, lack of sleep, all those nine months of appointments, and massages and the uncomfortablenesss that my fiancee had been through, the PUPPPs, just everything culminated in one moment of bliss and happiness beyond belief. I dont know how to describe it. He was just the coolest thing ever, and will ever be. I thought, this is it. I have reached the pinacle of my life. I have the biggest blessing a man could ever ask for. And I cried like a 2 year old.

Alot of stuff happened next, but to be honest I was too much in a daze. My fiancee had to deliver the placenta, we took some pictures, he was weighed in. They wrapped him up, and Im sure all this is completely out of order. The world just stopped when I held my son for the first time, and even as I am writting this, I am remembering that feeling. Its alot like when he sees me after I come home from work and he smiles at me. Its the worlds way of telling you why you do things, and what things matter.

So to all of you that have read my story, thanks for reading it. For those expectant fathers, and mothers, I hope this helps. For those moms and dads that have already been through this, Im sure we have some similarities as well as some differences. I have the best life and the best son in the entire world, and I am thankfull I get to be a part of his life everyday. And to my fiancee, I love you very much, and thank you for being the amazing Mom that you are.

The End.